Sunday, November 22, 2009

You might be a chauvinist pig if ...

By Nicole Coulter

With Governor Sarah Palin's book tour in full swing, we're noticing the recurrence of Palin Derangement Syndrome, but more specifically, a particular strain of PDS we like to call ... CPD(Chauvinist Pig Disease). It is particularly virulent, and pops up on message boards everywhere on the net. To assist those, especially enlightened progressives, who fear they might be suffering from the malicious illness, we've assembled a helpful guide to the most common symptoms:

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You supported Howard Dean enthusiastically in 2004, a man who ran a state with 40,000 fewer people and 60 times less land mass than Alaska ... but you think Sarah Palin is unqualified to run for president because she governed a small state.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You voted for Bill Clinton and thought he was qualified despite the fact that Arkansas' state budget was six times smaller than Alaska's $14 billion ... And you think Sarah Palin has no executive experience.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You voted for Dr. Utopia/Barack Obama after he spent just 150 actual days in the U.S. Senate ... but you think Sarah's 675 days running Alaska is an automatic disqualifier.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You think Obama's part-time job in the Illinois state legislature was more important than Sarah Palin's full-time job managing the city of Wasilla.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You hate Hillary Clinton, too.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You think Sarah is stupid for saying "You betcha" but don't have a problem with Obama saying "Wee Weed Up."

You might be a chauvinist pig (and first rate imbecile) if ...

You're more concerned with Bristol's pregnancy than energy independence.

You might be a chauvinist pig (and hypocrite) if ...

Obama voting "present" 130 times as a legislator doesn't bother you, but Sarah's resignation after accomplishing 95% of her policy initiatives does.

You might be a chauvinist pig if ....

You can't stop yourself from clicking on every single article about Sarah Palin and commenting just so you can demean her, mock her state, question her intelligence, and trash her family while claiming ludicrously that she is "irrelevant."

Sufferers from CPD should immediately leave their caves and join the 21st Century.

1 comments:

a3strand 12/03/2009 10:19 PM  

Love this!! You might want to add David Cantanese from Springfield to the list.

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